Over the past few years, there’s been sort of a bastardization of the terms “alpha” and “beta” that have created a situation where almost anyone who uses them is instantly thought to be a douchebag. I’m going to use these terms here to mean very specific things, and I’m going to outline the meaning of the terms here. It comes down to three key principles: Alpha is attraction, beta is comfort, and both can be done either well or poorly.
Alpha is Attraction
Anything that makes a girl want to fuck you is alpha. Showing leadership, not taking bullshit off of her and having charisma are all alpha behaviors. For the vast majority of men (virtually all men) who have problems either getting girls or getting sex in an already established relationship, the issue is that there’s not enough alpha being presented. There are a ton of different options you have for displaying alpha behavior, but they almost always come down to these basic things.
Generally speaking, anything traditionally masculine is alpha.
Beta is Comfort
Anything that makes a girl comfortable or soothes her emotionally is beta. Getting most gifts (flowers being a common example), providing emotional support and complimenting a woman are all examples of beta behavior. Most guys who have trouble with women don’t really have trouble coming up with ideas for beta shit to do. Beta is not inherently bad (like it’s often used in slang), but it won’t get you laid by itself.
Generally speaking, anything traditionally feminine is beta.
Good and Bad Versions of Both Exist
Let’s say you’re married, and your wife’s feet hurt after a long day of work. Telling her to stick her feet in your lap to rub them can be a great display of beta. However, if she tells you that you’re rubbing her feet and just expects you to do it, then bitches you out when you want to finish what you were doing first, then it can be an example of bad beta if you just roll over and do what she said.
Likewise, if a guy is hitting on your wife, and you walk up and semi-gently smack her on the ass like you didn’t know the guy was there, that can be good alpha. If you get between them and act like a major jackass and try to tell the guy off or something, then that can be bad alpha.
Generally speaking, good alpha and good beta come from a position of strength, but bad alpha and bad beta come from a position of weakness.
The Alpha and Beta Mix
To have a successful relationship with a woman, you need both alpha and beta in the situation. However, you need more alpha than beta. If you want to think of it abstractly, then a mix of something like 3 parts alpha for every 2 parts beta is probably sufficient.