How to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Make sure that you read What Alpha and Beta Really Mean and the Introduction to Hypergamy in Women before you start into this post. We’re going to build on those here.

What is the Friend Zone?

The friend zone is really simple to understand. A man likes a woman, wants to fuck her and have a romantic relationship with her while the same woman likes the guy but does not want to fuck him or have a romantic relationship with him. The characteristic dynamic is that the man believes if he keeps showing her how he’s such a great guy (by being a great friend), then eventually she’ll want the romantic relationship.

The fundamental problem of the friend zone is one of having too much beta without enough alpha. If she’s not attracted (ie: if you don’t display enough alpha), then she’s not going to want to fuck you, and that means you have no chance of having a healthy romantic relationship with her.

How to Get Out of the Friend Zone

If you’re already in the friend zone, the best thing you can do is withdraw your time from the woman while improving yourself. Don’t wave it around in her face, and don’t say shit about it. Just stop being around her quite as much (taper it off a bit if you don’t want to just cut her off completely) so that you can naturally lower the level of beta that you’re dishing out. Stop being as available, but don’t be an asshole to her. Being an actual asshole isn’t alpha; it’s just being an asshole, and we’ll go into the difference in later posts.

While you’re doing this, you need to build up your alpha traits. You need to learn to talk to girls and flirt, and you need to make sure you have enough going on in your life that shows you have some value. You don’t rub any of this in her face or even really bring it up. Instead, you just let it happen naturally.

After a couple of months, you start talking to her again, and you don’t talk to her to try to be her friend. Instead, you try to talk to her like you want to bang her or be in a relationship with her or whatever your goal is. If you would have done this in the first place, then you wouldn’t have had this problem, but the past two paragraphs are letting you get back around to this point (which you can’t do right away if you’re already in the middle of it).

If she goes for it, then great. If not, then no big deal. There are a lot of pretty girls on the pretty girl tree. You just go out and find you one of those. But what you don’t do is sit around being her friend aka being held hostage against your will.

And if she says something about how she just wants to be friends, you respectfully tell her that you appreciate that, but you aren’t friends with girls, you date girls. If she doesn’t want that, that’s cool, but you’re going to find girls who do.


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